- I had a good catch up with one of my good friends,
- Had some girly time with friends,
- pampered myself;
- painted my nails,
- changed how I did my makeup,
- made an effort in what I was wearing,
- I had a good cry and let the emotions out,
- I read a book that I have wanted to read for ages called the Labrinth. A good novel that I got sucked into and thoroughly enjoyed it,
- I thought about what it was that was creating these range of emotions inside me and came to the conclusions that;
- I was thinking that I might not deserve the great stuff that was happening in my life. This was a difficult thought to acknowledge as I have done some work on letting go of my conflict that I wasn't good enough yet here I was back in that same feeling. I felt like I had taken a step back. So once I acknowledged this I wanted to do some work on that feeling. I started by thinking about all the positives in my life, about what I had succeeded, about what I had achieved, overcome and the people who were in my life. This put me in a better state, a state that felt of confidence, love, achievement, and positivity. From this good state I looked at the root of why I didn't feel good enough, looked at the very first time I felt it and thought that in that moment there must be something still left to learn. I learnt that I did deserve success and happiness, and it is ok to be happy.
- That I was focusing on some of the negatives, about the things that I haven't achieved yet. I think this stemed from the feelings of not being good enough. So when I changed my state I started noticing the good things in my life; the fantastic people, the amazing opportunities, the knowledge that I have, the lovely place I live, the joys of living by the sea. The things that I had started to take for granted, when I changed my state, changed what I was noticing. I noticed the good, the joy, the fun and the love
- I did some work about how I saw what was going on. I pictured that the light of fun and enjoyment I had was fading. So I fed it more light, I opened the windows to flood sunlight in, I then opened up the picture to allow the warmth, light, freshness in. This really helped.
Saturday, 18 February 2012
I know its been a while since I have written. This is because this last couple of weeks I have struggled, fought, went backwards, went forwards, felt stuck, felt alive. A time of some interesting and different feelings. So instead of dwelling on the feelings I have decided to share how I got myself up, lifted myself to where I am now.